jump to navigation

Controlling the ego means controlling our mind March 7, 2012

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Ego Management.
Tags: , , , , , ,
add a comment

Managing the ego as part of our personal development process need not be an overly complex psychological process if we look at the ego in a less clinical way than is often done in psychological writings on the ego.

Although there are myriad definitions of the ego and the  sub groups of ego components, we can best manage areas of our ego, such as anger, if we think of the ego as the mind, rather than a deep-seated area of the brain that is difficult to access, such as the workings of the subconscious.

Our efforts towards personal growth will seem more attainable if we realize that for the most part we are in control of our mind or ego, even though in many cases, trying to convince our mind or ego about something can be tough work. But it is do-able.

From a common-sense perspective we all have a good idea of what constitutes our mind. It is that area of our person, which, for example, decides to embark on a program of personal development or self-improvement, or any other conscious course of action.

Here is one definition of the ego which I think illustrates the point that ego management or ego control involves our free-will and is not bound by mysterious inner physic workings: “The ‘I’ or ‘self’ of any person; a person as thinking, feeling and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought.”(1)

In this sense we can use our minds to successfully embark on any personal growth efforts requiring thinking. This makes matters of controlling the ego, or managing our ego, just that – matters of using our mind to control what we are thinking and to control how we are reacting to our thoughts.

The power of the mind can sometimes make it seem like an entity independent of ourselves. This is demonstrated by a number of experiences we have all had which show the power of the mind to almost have a will of its own:

“I just can’t get his rude comments out of my mind.” “That song keeps running around in my head.” “I can’t stop thinking about my financial problems.” “My mind keeps jumping from one thing to another and I can’t settle it down.”

However, with work, we can gain greater control of our mind, and thereby realize our potential through our efforts in personal development.

(1) Source: Dictionary.com

Personal development goals can be frustrated by the ego February 23, 2012

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Ego Management.
Tags: , , , , ,
add a comment

In our quest to understand personal development and thereby improve ourselves through reading and general research, the ego and its role within our personality patterns is something that constantly surfaces.

The more we read about the psychology of self-improvement, self-help and personal development in general, the more definitions and explanations of the ego we will uncover.

Some of the explanations of the role the ego plays in personality and human behaviour are quite complex and technical. Whatever the explanation, however, we know that the ego is a force to be dealt with and our research often leads to us look for answers in how to manage the ego, how to control anger with the ego, in general, how to deal with the ego and its influence on us. We seem to realize intuitively that the ego is a somewhat independent force living within us.

One of the interesting views of the ego is that of Eckhart Tolle, who (and this is a very simplified paraphrasing) regards the ego as the constantly chattering voice in our heads that will not shut up no matter how hard we try to focus and “stay in the moment.” For Tolle, the ego does not like being satisfied, with, or just accepting the present moment, but rather tends to focus on the future or the past.

The ego in this view tends to look at what should be and what should have been, rather than on dealing maturely and objectively with what is.

In his book, The Power of Now, Tolle makes the following observation: “The basic ego patterns are designed to combat its deep-seated fear and sense of lack. They are resistance, control, power, greed, defense, attack. Some of the ego’s strategies are extremely clever, yet they never truly solve any of its problems, simply because the ego itself is the problem.”

In Tolle’s view the ego’s tendency to focus on the past and the future, and to avoid dealing with the present moment, makes us slaves to time with the result that: “The more you are focussed on time – past and future – the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.”