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Small successes are important in a personal development program March 12, 2012

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Goal Setting and Realization.
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Many of us, in trying to accomplish as much as possible in our personal development efforts, can make the mistake of designing or implementing a self-improvement plan that eventually seems to us to be too complex, too detailed, or overly ambitious, and perhaps even unrealistic.

This can happen if instead of working on one area of personal growth at a time, if we are not careful, we end up trying to do everything at once and become overwhelmed. We end up doing a maintenance job on all of our personal growth goals instead of doing a better job on a lesser number of goals.

Like a diet that is too restrictive or severe, an overly ambitious plan for personal improvement with an unrealistic time frame can result in making our goals seem unattainable, and that can produce discouragement. Then our entire improvement plan can become like a broken New Year’s resolution. Such a scenario can end up damaging our self-esteem.

A detailed plan outlining all of our personal development goals makes sense, but the individual goals within the plan need to be accomplished gradually, with components within the goals being tackled one step at a time, over an extended period.

Achieving small victories in our goal realization process also helps to keep us motivated as we can see that we are making progress as we work on our plan each day. Having success in reaching or completing smaller sub- goals within a larger, major goal gives us a sense of satisfaction and encouragement.

Small successes are important. As noted by author J.K. Rowling, “Achievable goals are the first step to self-improvement.”*

*Source: http://www.quotationspage.com

Controlling the ego means controlling our mind March 7, 2012

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Ego Management.
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Managing the ego as part of our personal development process need not be an overly complex psychological process if we look at the ego in a less clinical way than is often done in psychological writings on the ego.

Although there are myriad definitions of the ego and the  sub groups of ego components, we can best manage areas of our ego, such as anger, if we think of the ego as the mind, rather than a deep-seated area of the brain that is difficult to access, such as the workings of the subconscious.

Our efforts towards personal growth will seem more attainable if we realize that for the most part we are in control of our mind or ego, even though in many cases, trying to convince our mind or ego about something can be tough work. But it is do-able.

From a common-sense perspective we all have a good idea of what constitutes our mind. It is that area of our person, which, for example, decides to embark on a program of personal development or self-improvement, or any other conscious course of action.

Here is one definition of the ego which I think illustrates the point that ego management or ego control involves our free-will and is not bound by mysterious inner physic workings: “The ‘I’ or ‘self’ of any person; a person as thinking, feeling and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought.”(1)

In this sense we can use our minds to successfully embark on any personal growth efforts requiring thinking. This makes matters of controlling the ego, or managing our ego, just that – matters of using our mind to control what we are thinking and to control how we are reacting to our thoughts.

The power of the mind can sometimes make it seem like an entity independent of ourselves. This is demonstrated by a number of experiences we have all had which show the power of the mind to almost have a will of its own:

“I just can’t get his rude comments out of my mind.” “That song keeps running around in my head.” “I can’t stop thinking about my financial problems.” “My mind keeps jumping from one thing to another and I can’t settle it down.”

However, with work, we can gain greater control of our mind, and thereby realize our potential through our efforts in personal development.

(1) Source: Dictionary.com