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Personal growth: Regrets for what we did not do October 21, 2017

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Living in the Now.
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All of us have done things in our lives, that on reflection, we wish we had not done. But for the most part, studies show, people regret more what they didn’t do in their lives.

* The friends we didn’t keep in touch with

* The time we didn’t spend with our families

* The enjoyable projects we did not undertake

* The apology we didn’t make

* The good intention that we didn’t follow-up on

* The money we didn’t save

But all of this “not doing” is not a pattern we willfully construct.

Rather, I think, it’s the result of thinking there will always be a tomorrow, when eventually and inevitably there will be no tomorrow.

As part of our personal development and self-actualization efforts, we need to remind ourselves of this reality and focus on the opportunities we have today.

Not the opportunities we might have tomorrow.

—Dennis Mellersh

Personal growth futility: Trying to live totally in the now October 10, 2017

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Living in the Now.
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Many of us fail to follow the advice of those personal development experts who tell us to focus on, and live the present moment. We fail because, unless the present moment is a crisis or a totally absorbing experience, our thoughts will bounce around between the present, the past, and the future.

Without the past we would have no memory, and effectively, no life.

Without the future, we would have no imagination or hope.

By definition, imagination and hope embody a future scenario.

And, studies now show that we spend a lot more time thinking about the future than we do thinking of the past.

Indeed, the concept of personal growth, self-actualization, and self-improvement is anticipatory.

Perhaps if we were in a total meditative state, and constantly “in the zone”, so to speak, we could devote the bulk of our energy to thinking on the present moment, but leading a normal life, it’s not realistic.

More achievable is using the now, the present, this moment, as a basis of learning and appreciation which we can remember and use as a foundation for creating our future.

— Dennis Mellersh