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Ego management: Trying to control the future April 2, 2012

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Ego Management.
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Ego management or controlling our thinking is often difficult when it comes to the past and the future; and probably, controlling our ego in thinking about the future is the toughest.

The future, at least to the ego and our mind, is often filled with “what if’s” and “if only I could…” or less tentatively,  we engage in writing, saying aloud,  or thinking affirmations and make other efforts involving the Law of Attraction which usually are focused on specific outcomes that we desire for the future.

However, there is a big difference on thinking about the future positively, or planning our lives to influence a future with positive possibilities, compared with an attempt by the ego to think that we can actually control the future. We can try but such efforts will more than likely result in disappointment, and possibly psychic harm.

There is an interesting passage in the Tao Te Ching that illustrates this in a few words: “Trying to control the future Is like trying to take the master carpenter’s place. When you handle the master carpenter’s tools, Chances are you’ll hurt your hand.” *

I am not presenting this passage from the Tao from a religious perspective or saying that there is a grand deity controlling our lives and Rather, I am suggesting that if we give in to the ego’s desire to try to over-manage the future we are bound to become frustrated.

There are simply too many variables in the universe in terms of influences and events that can have an effect on our future to think that we can control the future. To appease the ego in its desire to control the future is to give in to delusion.

Planning, goal setting, efforts towards a positive approach to life, and other components of a personal development program, however, are ways to exert influence over our own future without allowing the ego to over-manage our thinking as to what we can realistically control in the future.

To paraphrase a familiar prayer, we need to develop acceptance of the things we cannot change; develop courage to change the things we can; and also develop the wisdom to know the difference between these two sets of circumstances.

* The Tao Te Ching, as interpreted/translated by Stephen Mitchell, published by HarperPerennial, A division of HarperCollins Publishers.

Utilizing ego management to achieve balance and harmony in personal growth and development March 20, 2012

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Ego Management.
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We are all trying, through controlling or managing ego, to achieve a sense of equilibrium in our focussed efforts towards personal development and growth, while at the same time dealing with the ups and downs of daily life, or what is sometimes referred to as “the human condition.”

Whatever term you use, be it ego management, controlling ego,  managing ego, or positive thinking, our efforts are directed towards some sort of management system for our mind, so that the sometimes unrealistically positive coloring of the ego, or the ego’s equally unrealistic negative coloring, does not interfere with our conscious efforts towards attainable self-improvement goals.

As a life-long follower of personal growth and development information and theories I have found that ego management, or maintaining mental balance, is essential  in my own personal development because, more often than not, the emotions summoned by the ego can lead to poor choices in actions based the emotions of negativity, fear, or conversely, unwarranted and unrealistic optimism.

This WordPress blog on personal development potential is, in part, a means for me to examine my own emotions and ideas critically and think effectively about the challenges inherent in any program of personal growth and development.  Because of certain circumstances in my life, I had let my blog remain dormant for several years, but recently revived it and also restarted a more structured approach to personal growth and development in my life.

As part of this process of rediscovery, which naturally involves managing the ego and the ego’s efforts to focus on past negativity and fears of the future, I have been reading other blogs on the topic of personal growth and seeing how people are dealing with their life circumstances.  Because of free platforms such as WordPress.com and Blogger.com, many people with good ideas on personal development are writing about their journeys of discovery.

A considerable number of people writing these blogs are managing their lives under very difficult circumstances, including serious illness, depression, and also the grieving process. In a way, at least in my interpretation, they are, in effect, using their blogging as a means of managing their egos and their mindset in a positive way and giving the rest of us the benefit of their experiences, their emotional and intellectual journey, and their hopes for a positive future for themselves and for the readers of their blogs. These blog authors are showing great courage and generosity of spirit in sharing their emotions with us. They are also giving us a lot of good ideas for positive personal growth and development.

On a number of these blogs that I have come across, the authors relate their often very difficult circumstances and state openly that they are using their blogs, at least in part,  to help them deal with their life situations and to hopefully help others who are also facing trying times in their lives.  These authors are on a courageous and public journey of personal development.

Their motives and actions are to be commended.