Conquering fear and building confidence with action mini-steps May 12, 2018
Posted by Dennis Mellersh in personal development ideas.Tags: achieving goals, building confidence, life, Overcoming Fear, overcoming procrastination, personal growth, philosophy, psychology, The Magic of Thinking Big, writing
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In his book, The Magic of Thinking Big, David J. Schwartz makes the point that continually delaying taking action in any situation can gradually erode our self-esteem, whereas taking action can help cure fear and build confidence.
Schwartz comments, “Action feeds and strengthens confidence; inaction in all forms feeds fear. To fight fear, act. To increase fear – wait, put off, postpone.” (1)
Schwartz says, for example, that if we dread making a certain phone call, we should force ourselves to make it and the dread will disappear, but “Put it off and it will get harder and harder to make.”
Most of us tend to procrastinate with some things, but from what I have experienced with some situations we may perceive to be difficult, we may find it easier to act if we break the situation down into a number of smaller actionable steps that we can tackle one at a time. Even if each of these action steps is very small, we at least will be making some progress.
Often, we may put off doing something, particularly something important, because it seems to loom large on our fear and envisaged complexity horizon.
But if we tackle the task with mini-steps, it usually will not take nearly as long to complete as we had anticipated, nor will it be as fear-inducing as we had projected.
(1) I found the edition of The Magic of Thinking Big that I’m quoting from in a used bookstore. It was fairly old, dated 1967 as a reprint, with Prentice-Hall, Inc. holding the copyright; and was published by the Cornerstone Library, New York.
– Dennis Mellersh
Personal growth: Some thoughts on positive thinking May 11, 2018
Posted by Dennis Mellersh in personal development ideas.Tags: life, negative thinking, personal development, philosophy, positive thinking, psychology, Riichard Carlson, solving problems, the power of moods, writing
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In his book, You Can Be Happy No Matter What, Richard Carlson offers a critique of the “positive thinking” concept and suggests that, “A positive thinker is constantly under pressure to produce only positive thoughts, which takes enormous effort and concentration, leaving little energy for new and creative thoughts.”
Carlson’s opinion in this respect, is based to a large extent on his view that positive thinking’s opposite, negative thinking, arises mostly from our moods, in this case, being in a low mood.
The low mood makes our negatives thoughts seem very real because while in a low mood we will find it very difficult to see the world from anything but a dark, depressed viewpoint.
A key point Carlson makes is that whatever it is we think about, such as a financial challenge, it will be easier to find solutions when we are in a higher mood as our minds will be more clear and open to more possibilities.
The problem itself does not change, but solutions are not likely to appear very easily, if at all, when are thinking is clouded by a dark mood. And when in these dim moods, no amount of forced positive affirmation will make a solution more likely.
Carlson emphasizes, “The only feelings you will ever experience in a low mood are negative feelings; thus it makes no sense to trust or act on those feelings.”
Postpone your problem solving efforts because “The solution is to wait until the mood rises, which it will, on its own. The less attention you give your thinking in your low moods, the quicker your mood will rise. And at that point, and that point alone, your wiser feelings will surface.” (1)
(1) Richard Carlson, You Can Be Happy No Matter What: Five Principles Your Therapist Never Told you, New World Library, Novato, California, 1997, 141 pages.
Carlson, an author, psychotherapist, and motivational speaker, died at the relatively young age of 47. There is a short article about him on Wikipedia; here’s the link:
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