Personal growth paradox: Doing last things first March 20, 2014
Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Get Organized, Personal Growth Books.Tags: achieving goals, focussing, getting organized, personal development, personal growth, self-improvement, Stephen Covey, time management
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The more we study personal development and growth, in our efforts to improve ourselves, the more often we will encounter the advice to “put first things first.”
Stephen R. Covey, in fact, as the lead author, wrote a 370-page book on this topic, First Things First*. Co-authors are A. Roger Merrill, and Rebecca R. Merrill.
The implication is that most of us are often tempted to do last things first.
“Last things” being those activities that are not important. In his time management matrix Covey presents a quadrant which is now familiar to many: (1) Important and urgent (crises, pressing problems, deadline-driven projects)
(2) Urgent, but not important (some phone calls, some reports, some meetings)
(3) Important but not urgent (planning, relationship-building, empowerment)
(4) Not important, not urgent ((trivia, busywork ‘escape’ activities, irrelevant mail, excessive TV)
In a chapter entitled, The Urgency Addiction, Covey goes into considerable detail about how to overcome the mistake of attributing the quality of urgency to things that are actually not important; how to distinguish between the demands of the four quadrants; and how to manage our time between the four elements of the quadrant.
The book contains this insight: “Urgency addiction is a self-destructive behaviour that temporarily fills the void of unmet needs. And, instead of meeting these needs, the tools and approaches of time management often feed the addiction. They keep us focused on daily prioritization of the urgent.”
With time pressures being so pronounced for everyone these days, we could all benefit from revisiting the ideas and solutions proposed in this book.
* First Things First, A Fireside Book, published by Simon & Schuster
Moods, ego, and personal development decisions March 17, 2014
Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Ego Management, Fear and Anxiety.Tags: controlling ego, depressed mood, ego management, managing the ego, personal development, personal growth, positive thinking, Richard Carlson
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In our ongoing effort to develop our personal growth potential, our ego and its periodic bad moods can sometimes have a negative effect on decisions we make.
This can happen when for some reason we are feeling “down” or in a depressed mood (for whatever reason), when we are feeling physically unwell, or when we are overly fatigued.
In such cases we need to realize that managing the ego is important from the perspective of recognizing that we are in fact, actually only “in a bad mood” with all its attendant and non-realty-based negative perceptions and feelings. At such times, we can make poor decisions based on this negativity.
Dr. Richard Carlson, a consultant on stress and happiness, explains that when we “are in a bad mood, life looks unbearably serious and difficult.” He reminds us, however, that moods are fleeting; moods (good and bad) are “always on the run”, so to speak.
And he cautions, making important decisions about our lives at such times, when everything looks bleak, can be disastrous, because our perceptions of actual reality can be negatively influenced.
“When you’re in an ill mood, learn to pass it off simply as that: an unavoidable human condition that will pass with time, if you leave it alone. A low mood is not the time to analyze your life. To do so is emotional suicide. If you have a legitimate problem, it will still be there when your state of mind improves,” Carlson says.
When our state of mind improves, we are able to handle problems more effectively and positively.
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