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We can improve our personal development program by managing our ego March 24, 2007

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Ego Management.
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Our progress or forward momentum in our personal growth or development program can be held back when the ego takes control of us and interferes with our goal-directed activities

The ego, or that part of our minds that constantly thinks in terms of “I”, “Me”, and “Mine” is one of the buttons that people can press deliberately or unintentionally and can result in our being taken off-course from our desired path of effective personal development or self improvement and onto a road of frustration.

One of the conscious efforts we can make to avoid this is to try to control our ego, or the ego’s reactions, particularly in terms of our inner responses to events triggered by other people’s behavior that we normally find irritating, depressing, or critical in nature.

We all know at least some of the circumstances that can rile us up.

Someone says something to us that we find disparaging or insulting:
Somebody disagrees with one or more of our beliefs or opinions; or somebody says something critical; or someone pulls ahead of us into the exact parking space that we have been heading for at a shopping center

Our normal reaction to events like these normally could range from mild irritation to an intense anger coupled with constantly reviewing the disturbing events or comments over and over again in our minds and thereby disrupting our enjoyment of life for hours, and perhaps even days.

“He/she can’t say that to me!”
“How could anyone possibly disagree with me on (name the belief or opinion)?”
“How dare someone beat me to that parking spot!”

And our efforts at personal development temprarily go out the window. This is the ego at work, making our thoughts run in directions that we really don’t want them to. The ego can thereby hinder our personal development efforts. One of the tools we can use to reduce this tendency is to make a deliberate effort to control the reactions of our ego. But it’s not easy.

Controlling or managing the ego does not mean we become doormats and put up with unacceptable behaviors from other people. But it does mean that we try to keep our reactions to untoward events in perspective so that we are managing our thoughts rather than having our thoughts manage us.

There are many behavioral options to work with, ranging from simple anger management, to a concentrated program of inner work to reduce our dependence on “self” and gain more awareness of what constitutes our true inner consciousness. When we know ourselves better and can manage our ego, a personal development plan and our general self-improvment efforts are easier to envision and implement.

This has been an introductory short post to discussions expressing a personal view about the ego in relation to achieving personal development goals — a topic I hope to write about  in more detail in future articles.

Two excellent books with detailed discussions of the negative power of the ego are by Eckhart Tolle: The Power of Now, A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment; and A New Earth, Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose.

How to get organized and improve your personal development program’s effectiveness March 21, 2007

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Get Organized.
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Our personal growth plans can become more achievable if we learn how to organize our time and develop an effective program of personal time management

Years ago, in a personal development effort to get organized in various areas of my life one of the books I found helpful was How to Get Control of Your Time and Your Life, written by time-management expert, Alan Lakein.

Lakein asks at the beginning of his book why should we care about our time. His answer is, “Time is life. It is irreversible and irreplaceable. To waste your time is to waste your life, but to master your time is to master your life and make the most of it.” In some ways that advice is pivotal to developing a personal growth program that works. Without some form of organization, our self-improvement efforts and plans can remain just good intentions rather than achieved goals.

However, Lakein does not consider that effective time management means that you have to give up activities that you enjoy and just work harder and harder to get organized. In fact, he notes, “…please don’t call me an efficiency expert. I’m an ‘effectiveness expert.’ Effectiveness means selecting the best task to do from all the possibilities available and then doing it the best way. Making the right choices about how you’ll use your time is much more important than doing efficiently whatever job happens to be around.”

One of the aspects I found most helpful about Alan Lakein’s approach is his emphasis on setting priorities. As part of this emphasis, for example, he devotes an entire chapter to “Tasks Better Left Undone.” He divides tasks into A, B, and C, priorities. The A’s are items that have a high value, the B’s are those tasks that have a medium value and the C’s are those with low value. In prioritizing, Lakein emphasizes the use of the 80/20 rule, and uses an number of examples to illustrate the rule, such as the fact that 80 percent of file usage is in 20 percent of the files.

To give you an idea of his approach, here are some of the chapter titles:
Control Starts With Planning
What Do You Really Want from Life?
How to Find Time You Never Knew You Had
Don’t Let Fear Get in Your Way
How to Create Quiet Time for Yourself
Using the Swiss Cheese Method
Sometimes It Pays to Slow Down.

Overall, Lakein’s approach in this book provides a good rationale or philosophy towards personal time management and how to get organized in what you want to accomplish. It’s much more than page after page of time-organizational tips. It’s a holistic approach to managing your life through a time-oriented approach to personal development. As the title implies, Lakein sees building time management skills as an integral part of developing life management skills.

The Signet Book copies I have were published some time ago by New American Library. You could check for it in your local library, as well as new and used bookstores. It is also available used and new on Amazon.com.