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Personal growth: One possible path to a life with less fear and worry October 11, 2018

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Overcoming Fear.
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None of us is entitled, nor likely expects, to enjoy a life free of problems and major challenges, but it would be a relief and make us more effective if, while experiencing the normal difficulties of existence, we could be largely free of worry and anxiety.

Some problems in life are so life-altering or threatening that we cannot escape a significant emotional impact, such as the death of a loved one, a catastrophic illness, a sudden physical disability, or possible financial ruin.

But for many of our problems, even major ones, it may be possible  to replace worry, fear, and anxiety with their less crippling emotional cousin, namely, the emotional and intellectual quality of “concern.”

An endless cycle of worrying, visiting “our problem” again and again, playing an eternal loop of regret of the past and/or foreboding about the future is destructive and counter-productive.

Conversely, concern about a problem implies a moderated approach coupled with the important ingredient of action, of goal-directed activity.

In  fact it is the quality of action that helps turn worry into concern, because it is the beginning of finding a solution to our problems.

Not suggesting anything here that we don’t already know, if only intuitively.

But we do need to constantly remind ourselves that worry in itself does not move us forward, rather it paralyzes us, eventually making us go backwards.

I’m still learning on this particular internal journey.

Dennis Mellersh

Personal growth: Why can our moods change so much day to day? October 3, 2018

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Solving Problems.
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For a long time I have been puzzled by, and have sought solutions to the question of why we can be in a strong  “up” mood one day, and  yet on  the very next day we can be “down”, despite the fact that our life circumstances have been identical on both

For example, we can have a serious cash flow problem in our lives and be looking constructively for ways to solve the challenge.

One day the cash problem is perceived as a challenge that can be dealt with on a logical basis and managed successfully.

The next day, the same financial conditions can seem overwhelming and throw us into despair.

Since the circumstances have not changed, the difference in perception is logically the result of changes in our mood, an interpretation suggested by psychologist Richard Carlson. (1)

In addition to the obvious mental and emotional distress, our moods, whether too up or too down, can result in our making bad decisions, based on emotion rather than logic.

So, is there a way we can feel “up” on a consistent basis?

Or, is such an emotional state even possible?

(1) Discussed at length in his book, You Can Be Happy No Matter What.
 
Dennis Mellersh