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Personal growth: Wasting people and wasting words April 4, 2017

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Solving Problems.
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By Dennis Mellersh

Knowing when we should share advice and when we should withhold it can be an important skill or aptitude to develop in our personal development and self-actualization learning program.

Sometimes we don’t share when our input is needed by someone and other times we share when the recipient is not open to receiving it.

The ancient Chinese philosopher Confucius sums up the predicament this way:
“When a person is capable of understanding your words and you refuse to speak, you’re wasting a person. When a person isn’t capable of understanding your words and you speak anyway, you’re wasting words. The wise waste neither words nor people.” (1)

Not always easy however to determine which of the two divergent scenarios we are dealing with.

That’s why it’s a skill; and it takes some time and work to learn.

(1) Quoted in The Analects as translated by David Hinton in his book The Four Chinese Classics


Personal growth and the attraction of opposites May 27, 2014

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Goal Setting and Realization, Solving Problems.
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There can be times in our personal growth and development journey when confusion sets in, when the choice of which path to take becomes difficult.

We hear different and often conflicting pieces of advice, suggestions, or ideas – from others, and from our own internal voice.

This does not mean there is something wrong with the methods we are using, or the overall approach we are taking to our self-improvement efforts.

Feeling this way is normal and is a result of the attraction of perhaps equally attractive alternatives.

Having these “dilemmas” is actually what can make the self-development journey interesting, exciting and rewarding.

Mindless, inflexible adherence to one, and one-only, approach to self-actualization can be limiting, unproductive, and yes, boring.
The philosopher Eric Hoffer makes this comment:

“It is the stretched soul that makes music, and souls are stretched by the pull of opposites – opposite bents, tastes, yearnings, loyalties. Where there is no polarity – where energies flow smoothly in one direction, — there will be much doing, but no music.” (1)

(1) Eric Hoffer, Reflections on the Human Condition