jump to navigation

Are you incorrectly assuming you have a lack of self-confidence? May 9, 2012

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Self-Esteem.
Tags: , , , , ,
add a comment

Whether we identify our personal growth program by the name of self-improvement or personal development, there are times when each of us can suffer from occasional or long-terms bouts of a perceived lack of self-confidence.

However, I have found in my own efforts towards increasing my personal growth potential that what I might have considered a lack of self-confidence in myself is sometimes actually a lack of confidence in others, or a lack of confidence in systems, such as the workings or market variables of a workplace or a business I am trying to succeed in.

Other people for example, may not understand what we are trying to accomplish or they do not appreciate the approach we are taking. If this is causing you worry, it is not your self-confidence that is lacking; it is a lack of confidence in factors outside of yourself and perhaps beyond your control.

As such, this is not a matter of a lack of self-confidence, but rather a lack of confidence in external conditions and/or circumstances. So, we do not need to manage our ego to compensate, but instead look to the conditions that are causing us concern and work on possible solutions. This is not arrogance, unwarranted optimism, or having an overblown ego; it just means that we have a healthy respect for our own capabilities.

Additionally, most of us have varying degrees of confidence or self-confidence in our various personal aptitudes and skills. Few of us are excellent at doing everything.  Recognizing our strengths and weaknesses and seeking ways to strengthen our weaker areas is a sign of maturity.

 

 

Balance in personal development: The Bhagavad Gita on happiness and distress April 24, 2012

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Personal Growth Books.
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
add a comment

Personal development, or self-improvement literature, is an ancient tradition. Often called Wisdom Writing, particularly when it refers to older literature, personal development writing has been applicable and beneficial throughout the ages, because essentially, human nature does not change.

The same problems and personal challenges that confront us today in the modern world of technological advancements were also matters that the ancients struggled with in their efforts to live a better and more emotionally balanced and spiritual life.

One of the tendencies of our human nature is to subconsciously immerse ourselves in a strong current emotion, such as being happy or worried and “blue” and either want the feeling to persist forever, as in the case of feeling happy, or wish the feeling to go away, as we would with feeling worried or “down.”

The reality however is that, generally, we cannot “will” a feeling or emotion to persist; unforeseen and uncontrollable good or bad circumstances can alter our perceptions and therefore our feelings. There is an old saying, “This too shall pass” and it applies to enjoyable states of emotion and to distressing states of emotion. The trick is to realize the transitory nature of the events of the world and to neither get unduly uplifted by a state of happiness or overly perturbed at a state of distress.

The ancient 700-verse Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad Gita in Chapter 2, Verse 14 (2:14) sheds light on this (I have edited proper names from this excerpt for greater clarity) “…the non-permanent appearance of happiness and distress, and their disappearance in due course, are like the appearance and disappearance of winter and summer seasons. They arise from sense perception, and one must learn to tolerate them without being disturbed.” (1)

There are a number of websites providing interpretation and translation of the Bhagavad Gita, including an article in Wikipedia.

(1) The Bhagavad Gita: Translation source: http://www.bhagavad-gita.us