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Personal growth, self-awareness, work that matters May 7, 2014

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Concept of personal development, Personal Development Potential.
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In our personal development work we will encounter a lot of information about our immense potential for improvement and the need to have a plan for realizing all that we are capable of.

The hidden danger in this is that, if we are not careful, we may subconsciously make the mistaken assumption that much what we are currently doing with our lives is somehow inadequate.

Our increased self-awareness may actually lead us to believe that we are not doing work or activities that matter.

Well, what we are already doing does in fact matter, even if that work or activity is not fully reflected in the appreciation of and approval of others.

It’s great to be seeking ways to make our work more meaningful, but everything we do does not have to change the world in order to have value.

Our contributions in a variety of roles such as mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, employees, employers, bosses, students – each of these roles has meaning and worth. But too often we interpret a lack of positive feedback from those in our circle of influence as a negative indicator of our contributions.

It’s important for our self-esteem to remember that our work would be missed by those in our circle, if we stopped doing it – regardless of whether we are receiving a constant stream of positive reinforcement.

Speaking of “work that matters”, here is an extreme example of  a vital and responsibility-intense life mission; that of the Pueblo Indians of New Mexico, as related to C.G. Jung in 1924, by one of the Pueblo leaders, Ochwiay Biano:

“We are the people who live on the roof of the world: we are the sons of Father Sun, and with our religion we daily help our Father to go across the sky. We do this not only for ourselves, but for the whole world. If we were to cease practising our religion, in ten years the sun would no longer rise. Then it would be night forever.” (1)

(1) As quoted in Gerhard Wehr’s book, An Illustrated Biography of C.G. Jung, p. 61

Are you incorrectly assuming you have a lack of self-confidence? May 9, 2012

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Self-Esteem.
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Whether we identify our personal growth program by the name of self-improvement or personal development, there are times when each of us can suffer from occasional or long-terms bouts of a perceived lack of self-confidence.

However, I have found in my own efforts towards increasing my personal growth potential that what I might have considered a lack of self-confidence in myself is sometimes actually a lack of confidence in others, or a lack of confidence in systems, such as the workings or market variables of a workplace or a business I am trying to succeed in.

Other people for example, may not understand what we are trying to accomplish or they do not appreciate the approach we are taking. If this is causing you worry, it is not your self-confidence that is lacking; it is a lack of confidence in factors outside of yourself and perhaps beyond your control.

As such, this is not a matter of a lack of self-confidence, but rather a lack of confidence in external conditions and/or circumstances. So, we do not need to manage our ego to compensate, but instead look to the conditions that are causing us concern and work on possible solutions. This is not arrogance, unwarranted optimism, or having an overblown ego; it just means that we have a healthy respect for our own capabilities.

Additionally, most of us have varying degrees of confidence or self-confidence in our various personal aptitudes and skills. Few of us are excellent at doing everything.  Recognizing our strengths and weaknesses and seeking ways to strengthen our weaker areas is a sign of maturity.