Ego Management: Focus on what you can control October 5, 2012
Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Ego Management, Goal Setting and Realization.Tags: achieving goals, controlling ego, ego management, focussing, managing the ego, setting goals
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In the ongoing effort to manage or control our ego (that constantly chattering voice inside our head) we often spread ourselves too thin, and set up a path for failure, by tackling areas of our lives over which we have little or no control.
Instead, although it is difficult, we should look at our life situation analytically and make an effort to decide which areas of our overall life circumstances are within our power to change and which areas are beyond our ability to effect change.
There is a traditional prayer asking for the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, for courage to change the things we can, and for the wisdom to know the difference.
Being able to know the difference will take a lot of internal work for each of us, but it is key to success in calming that inner voice that wants us to look at every problem as being solvable by us.
Are you incorrectly assuming you have a lack of self-confidence? May 9, 2012
Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Self-Esteem.Tags: personal development, personal growth, positive thinking, self-confidence, self-esteem, self-improvement
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Whether we identify our personal growth program by the name of self-improvement or personal development, there are times when each of us can suffer from occasional or long-terms bouts of a perceived lack of self-confidence.
However, I have found in my own efforts towards increasing my personal growth potential that what I might have considered a lack of self-confidence in myself is sometimes actually a lack of confidence in others, or a lack of confidence in systems, such as the workings or market variables of a workplace or a business I am trying to succeed in.
Other people for example, may not understand what we are trying to accomplish or they do not appreciate the approach we are taking. If this is causing you worry, it is not your self-confidence that is lacking; it is a lack of confidence in factors outside of yourself and perhaps beyond your control.
As such, this is not a matter of a lack of self-confidence, but rather a lack of confidence in external conditions and/or circumstances. So, we do not need to manage our ego to compensate, but instead look to the conditions that are causing us concern and work on possible solutions. This is not arrogance, unwarranted optimism, or having an overblown ego; it just means that we have a healthy respect for our own capabilities.
Additionally, most of us have varying degrees of confidence or self-confidence in our various personal aptitudes and skills. Few of us are excellent at doing everything. Recognizing our strengths and weaknesses and seeking ways to strengthen our weaker areas is a sign of maturity.
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