Personal growth: Some thoughts on positive thinking May 11, 2018
Posted by Dennis Mellersh in personal development ideas.Tags: life, negative thinking, personal development, philosophy, positive thinking, psychology, Riichard Carlson, solving problems, the power of moods, writing
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In his book, You Can Be Happy No Matter What, Richard Carlson offers a critique of the “positive thinking” concept and suggests that, “A positive thinker is constantly under pressure to produce only positive thoughts, which takes enormous effort and concentration, leaving little energy for new and creative thoughts.”
Carlson’s opinion in this respect, is based to a large extent on his view that positive thinking’s opposite, negative thinking, arises mostly from our moods, in this case, being in a low mood.
The low mood makes our negatives thoughts seem very real because while in a low mood we will find it very difficult to see the world from anything but a dark, depressed viewpoint.
A key point Carlson makes is that whatever it is we think about, such as a financial challenge, it will be easier to find solutions when we are in a higher mood as our minds will be more clear and open to more possibilities.
The problem itself does not change, but solutions are not likely to appear very easily, if at all, when are thinking is clouded by a dark mood. And when in these dim moods, no amount of forced positive affirmation will make a solution more likely.
Carlson emphasizes, “The only feelings you will ever experience in a low mood are negative feelings; thus it makes no sense to trust or act on those feelings.”
Postpone your problem solving efforts because “The solution is to wait until the mood rises, which it will, on its own. The less attention you give your thinking in your low moods, the quicker your mood will rise. And at that point, and that point alone, your wiser feelings will surface.” (1)
(1) Richard Carlson, You Can Be Happy No Matter What: Five Principles Your Therapist Never Told you, New World Library, Novato, California, 1997, 141 pages.
Carlson, an author, psychotherapist, and motivational speaker, died at the relatively young age of 47. There is a short article about him on Wikipedia; here’s the link:
Personal development: Are we trying too hard to feel happy? January 14, 2018
Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Solving Problems.Tags: achieving goals, happiness, life, negative thinking, personal growth, philosophy, psychology, self-actualization, solving problems, writing
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When we are in a low mood, a non-happy mood, no amount of will-powered effort is likely to get us out of the low mood. In fact the harder we try to be happy, the more frustrating and pervasive our low mood is likely to become.
This is one of the observations in Dr. Richard Carlson’s book, You Can be Happy no Matter What (1). Dr. Carlson discusses the five principles that he believes can have a significant effect on our happiness and feeling of well-being.
One of the key principles he identifies is that of moods and their influence on our behaviour, and he emphasises:
“…you can’t force your way out of a low mood any more than you can force yourself to have a good time doing something you don’t like. The more force (or thought) you put into it, the lower you sink.”
The big take-away for me in the book is his observation that when looking at our circumstances or problems, which could be difficult, that they will seem bleak and perhaps hopeless when we are in a down mood, but the same circumstances and problems will seem more manageable and solvable when we are in a higher or good mood.
And although that seems self-evident, Dr. Carlson notes that when we are in a down or low mood, we simply cannot see the upside and positives of our situation, no matter how hard we try.
His suggestion is to postpone significant decisions when we are in these low periods and wait to take action until our mood improves, which it generally will, on its own. At that point we will be in a better psychological place to make sound decisions and initiate appropriate actions.
(1) Richard Carlson Ph.D., You Can Be Happy No Matter What, New World Library, Novato, California, 1997, 141 pages
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