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Personal growth: How to keep New Year’s resolutions December 29, 2017

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Personal Development Potential.
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Conventional wisdom in the world of self-improvement and self-actualization often tells us that will power is the key to achieving our goals in life. However, I just came across an article in the New York Times that makes a strong case for a more effective and sustainable approach for keeping our resolutions and achieving our long-term personal objectives.

In a column titled The Only Way to Keep Your Resolutions (1), David DeSteno (2) writes:

“We too often think about self-improvement and the pursuit of our goals in bracing, self-flagellating terms: I will do better, I will muscle through, I will wake up earlier. But it doesn’t need to be that way, and it shouldn’t: Self-control isn’t about feeling miserable. The research on self-control shows that willpower, for all its benefits, wanes over time.”

DeSteno argues that a better approach than sheer grit and will power lies in “increasing how much we value the future” and suggests that we can accomplish this better by developing our “social emotions.”

Here’s the link to his article:

(1) New York Times website, December 29, 2017

(2) David DeSteno, a professor of psychology at Northeastern University, is the author of the forthcoming book “Emotional Success: The Power of Gratitude, Compassion, and Pride.”

—Dennis Mellersh

Personal growth 101: The Importance of focusing on action November 14, 2017

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Concept of personal growth.
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One of the traps inherent in good personal development programs is that they are interesting media in themselves — they are entertaining — and if we aren’t careful, we can end up doing a lot of “research” on them but not implementing much of what we are learning.

This is especially true when we first start out on our deliberate path to develop our personal potential. But study should be an adjunct to growth, not a replacement for action and implementation.

So we need to make a decision on what program or philosophy we are going to implement.
Perhaps it will be a single system of ideas from one of the many recognized experts in this field.

Or an effective program can be one that we put together and systematize ourselves, choosing the best elements of different expert approaches that we feel will work best for our personalities and circumstances.

Another less programmed approach to implementation is to read, listen to, watch, and ideally make notes on the work of a variety of self-improvement experts, and then draw on this knowledge when situations in your life call for a little extra help beyond your intuitive resources.

There’s no absolutely right way to begin the journey of self-actualization.

The important thing is to be taking some form of action whenever possible and as soon as possible.

— Dennis Mellersh