Setting realistic expectations for personal growth May 12, 2014
Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Concept of personal growth, Goal Setting and Realization.Tags: achieving goals, goal setting, goal visualization, personal development, personal development potential, personal growth, personal growth program, philosophy, self-esteem
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One of the troubling and irritating tendencies we see with some personal growth writers and self-improvement philosophers is the idea that the only restrictions on our personal development potential are the limits that we impose on ourselves.
This theory is fine as long as it is meant to encourage us to set ambitious goals, to seek ideals, to do everything in our power to maximize our improvement efforts.
But the idea that there are absolutely no limits is flawed.
To tell people that anything is possible as long we set our hearts on it, work hard, and have faith, is to essentially be promoting an alternate universe of non-reality.
If taken to heart the “no limits” theory could damage our self-esteem and jeopardize our entire personal growth program.
We can have strong self-esteem and confidence in our ability to overcome obstacles, but if our goals are not realistic we are opening ourselves up to discouragement and eventual failure with our program.
Realistic goals + hard work = success and encouragement to do more
Unrealistic goals + hard work = failure and discouragement of further effort
The take-away
It’s not always that something is absolutely impossible.
It’s just that it might not be possible for us in our particular circumstances.
To be able to recognize the difference is an important part of progress in our personal growth efforts.
Personal growth: Having faith in our innate abilities May 9, 2014
Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Concept of personal development, Self-Esteem.Tags: Eric Hoffer, negative thinking, personal development, personal development potential, personal growth, philosophy, self-assurance, self-awareness, self-confidence
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One of the key outcomes we seek in a program of personal growth and development is that of acquiring the ability to have faith in our own capabilities and potential.
In terms of self-awareness and self-knowledge, we want to achieve greater self-confidence, and greater self-assurance regarding the creativity, originality, and validity of our own individual thought process.
And, as a large component of our work on developing this confidence, we turn to the experts on personal growth.
What do they have to say about how we should move forward?
We can, however, become over-reliant on the experts to the point where we begin to doubt our own abilities to make decisions about the strategic path we need to take in constructing a self-improvement program tailored to our individual circumstances and needs.
There is reluctance to believe we can absorb the advice of the experts, and yet have the confidence to design a self-directed growth program based on selecting the appropriate (to our personality) component elements suggested by those experts.
And so, because of these inner doubts we may choose to follow a particular program in its entirety without making the necessary adjustments our specific situation may require.
Combatting this reluctance to trust ourselves will take some serious work, because it is rooted in our inborn sense of insecurity.
Eric Hoffer has commented on this conundrum:
“We have more faith in what we imitate than in what we originate. We cannot derive a sense of absolute certitude from anything which has its roots in us. The most poignant sense of insecurity comes from standing alone; we are not alone when we imitate.” (1)
(1) Eric Hoffer, The Passionate State of Mind
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