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Overcoming the ego’s resistance to the idea of second chances in life February 25, 2013

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Ego Management.
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In trying to implement our personal growth plan towards the development of our individual potential, our ego (that voice in our heads) may try to convince us that second chances in life are not possible.

Instead of focusing on the positive possibilities of the present, the ego often tends to dwell in the troubles and shortcomings past and on fears and self-doubts about the future.  In this emotional environment, there would appear to be little room for the concept of second chances in life.

However, to help us, there is a lot of good material available in personal growth literature about techniques on how to create a positive future for ourselves, despite past “failures.” But, for these techniques to work we first must believe or have faith in the concept of second chances.

I recently watched a brief interview with the actor Frank Langella, which I will paraphrase because I was not able to write down all of his comments verbatim at the time.

Langella, who has had a lot of “ups” and “downs” in his career said that he never became discouraged with the difficult times in his acting career because he regarded these as growing experiences and made an effort to learn from each event in his career.

In the interview he said that he did not believe in the idea that we don’t have second chances in life. In fact there is chance #2, chance #22, chance #108 –there are always second and further chances “as long as you’re breathing,” Langella says.

Because of a lack of belief in second chances, Langella says, many people “decide to shut down and settle.” By not going for second chances these people shut themselves off from “everything that makes life worth living.” He concluded the interview by commenting that we all have two choices in life – we can either lie down or we can get up every day and keep going.

There is a brief Article on Frank Langella available at Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Langella

 

 

The concept of personal development: Feeling better about ourselves October 13, 2012

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Concept of personal development.
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There are many different components involved in the general concept of personal development.

For some people the idea of personal development may be primarily a practical aspect such as improving their education level in a particular area to enable them to do their job more effectively, or to manage an aspect their family life more efficiently, such as being better organized, or overcoming their habit of procrastination.

For others the concept of personal development involves a more general emotion that we are feeling somewhat discouraged about how our lives are progressing and are looking for a means or method to feel better about ourselves.

We feel the answer may be by being involved some sort of program of self-improvement, self-help, or attitude adjustment that will put us in a better frame of mind. Or, less severe, we have the feeling we have the feeling that “there is something missing” in our lives, or that the overall experience of life has to be more fulfilling that what we are currently experiencing. So, we turn to one or more of the many programs, books, videos or articles available on personal development as a possible answer.

Whatever our understanding of personal development, it generally will involve (a) some sort of outline, plan, or overall program; and (b) putting that  outline, plan or program into action, thus leading to a feeling of accomplishment. These two factors alone – planning and then taking some form of action— can help us to feel better about ourselves and our life situation or life circumstances.

In this regard, I recently found a confirming observation by Stephen R. Covey in his book, Daily Reflections for Highly Effective People.

Covey says, “All things are created twice. There’s a mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation of all things. You have to make sure that the blueprint, the first creation, is really want you want, that you’ve thought everything through. Then you put it into bricks and mortar. Each day you go to the construction shed and pull out the blueprint to get marching orders for the day.”

Simply put, we need to plan or adopt a pre-planned program, and then we need to put it into action.

Having a plan or program for personal development or self-improvement is essential, but if that plan is not put into action on a consistent basis we will not accomplish anything in terms of self-improvement. More likely, not putting the plan into action will be regarded as yet another personal failure, and make us feel even worse about ourselves.

The upside is that although we may fail to implement our plan effectively today, there are always second chances, and we can revisit our challenge successfully tomorrow.