Personal growth: Searching for the ideal self-help system January 24, 2018
Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Concept of personal development.Tags: inspiration, life, personal growth, personal growth program, philosophy, psychology, self-actualization, writing
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With the seemingly endless river of new personal development books flowing from publishers each year and the vast amount of shelf space devoted to self-improvement in bookstores and online warehouses, some psychology writers wonder if people interested in the topic of self-help are addicted to finding the ultimate self-actualization system.
Maybe that’s true.
But perhaps, and more likely, those of us interested in personal growth are simply looking to add to our self-actualization toolbox, and are not necessarily looking for an entirely new set of tools.
For some people, finding new approaches and ideas on personal growth is somewhat like a hobby and a new book, video, or pod cast on personal development adds to their enjoyment.
As with complex disciplines in general, personal improvement does not lend itself to one perfect system fitting all cases.
I think most of us realize that, or should.
—Dennis Mellersh
Personal development: Are we trying too hard to feel happy? January 14, 2018
Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Solving Problems.Tags: achieving goals, happiness, life, negative thinking, personal growth, philosophy, psychology, self-actualization, solving problems, writing
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When we are in a low mood, a non-happy mood, no amount of will-powered effort is likely to get us out of the low mood. In fact the harder we try to be happy, the more frustrating and pervasive our low mood is likely to become.
This is one of the observations in Dr. Richard Carlson’s book, You Can be Happy no Matter What (1). Dr. Carlson discusses the five principles that he believes can have a significant effect on our happiness and feeling of well-being.
One of the key principles he identifies is that of moods and their influence on our behaviour, and he emphasises:
“…you can’t force your way out of a low mood any more than you can force yourself to have a good time doing something you don’t like. The more force (or thought) you put into it, the lower you sink.”
The big take-away for me in the book is his observation that when looking at our circumstances or problems, which could be difficult, that they will seem bleak and perhaps hopeless when we are in a down mood, but the same circumstances and problems will seem more manageable and solvable when we are in a higher or good mood.
And although that seems self-evident, Dr. Carlson notes that when we are in a down or low mood, we simply cannot see the upside and positives of our situation, no matter how hard we try.
His suggestion is to postpone significant decisions when we are in these low periods and wait to take action until our mood improves, which it generally will, on its own. At that point we will be in a better psychological place to make sound decisions and initiate appropriate actions.
(1) Richard Carlson Ph.D., You Can Be Happy No Matter What, New World Library, Novato, California, 1997, 141 pages
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