The role of contentment in controlling bad habits April 13, 2014
Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Self-Discipline.Tags: bad habits, contentment, controlling habits, harmful habits, lifestyle, personal development, personal growth, philosophy, positive thinking, Richard Carlson, self-improvement
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Richard Carlson, in his personal development book You Can Be Happy No Matter What, says, “The dynamics of healthy psychological functioning tell us that you get your positive feeling back by releasing the thoughts that are taking your good feelings away.”
If we do not have serenity (contentment), Carlson says, we are then tempted to turn to other (outside) sources in a misguided effort to achieve contentment, such as excesses of: alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, food, exercise, sex, and work.
“Serenity or contentment,” he adds, “is the breeding ground for positive change…if you have serenity, eliminating bad habits is both possible and enjoyable, but without serenity, change is difficult, almost impossible.”
Can this approach work for everyone?
In terms of bad habit reduction or elimination, Carlson’s theory raises the following dynamic:
Can we think ourselves into a new way of acting (and therefore achieve contentment)? or;
Do we need to act ourselves into a new way of thinking (and thereby achieve contentment)?
The path to be taken to achieve contentment or serenity may actuallly depend more on the individual and his or her specific circumstances.
For some people, a particular bad and harmful habit may so debilitating that it must somehow be removed before an individual can have enough peace of mind and unclouded thinking to be able to work effectively on their self-improvement program.
For others, they must use a variety of techniques to gain some measure of peace of mind and clear thinking before they can have the mental and emotional strength to seriously work on reducing or eliminating a harmful bad habit.
Moods, ego, and personal development decisions March 17, 2014
Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Ego Management, Fear and Anxiety.Tags: controlling ego, depressed mood, ego management, managing the ego, personal development, personal growth, positive thinking, Richard Carlson
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In our ongoing effort to develop our personal growth potential, our ego and its periodic bad moods can sometimes have a negative effect on decisions we make.
This can happen when for some reason we are feeling “down” or in a depressed mood (for whatever reason), when we are feeling physically unwell, or when we are overly fatigued.
In such cases we need to realize that managing the ego is important from the perspective of recognizing that we are in fact, actually only “in a bad mood” with all its attendant and non-realty-based negative perceptions and feelings. At such times, we can make poor decisions based on this negativity.
Dr. Richard Carlson, a consultant on stress and happiness, explains that when we “are in a bad mood, life looks unbearably serious and difficult.” He reminds us, however, that moods are fleeting; moods (good and bad) are “always on the run”, so to speak.
And he cautions, making important decisions about our lives at such times, when everything looks bleak, can be disastrous, because our perceptions of actual reality can be negatively influenced.
“When you’re in an ill mood, learn to pass it off simply as that: an unavoidable human condition that will pass with time, if you leave it alone. A low mood is not the time to analyze your life. To do so is emotional suicide. If you have a legitimate problem, it will still be there when your state of mind improves,” Carlson says.
When our state of mind improves, we are able to handle problems more effectively and positively.
Personal Development Ideas 