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Personal growth: Achieving broad goals via specifics June 25, 2014

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Concept of personal growth, Goal Setting and Realization.
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One of the traps we can fall into in self-improvement is in setting too many vague and overly broad goals without also establishing specific goals (within our general goals) that can be broken down into smaller tasks or projects.

Examples of vague goals:

Improve my knowledge of current affairs
Increase my understanding of personal development principles
Doing a better job of organizing my time
Establishing more quality time with my family

These are admirable objectives, but if not augmented with specific goals and sub-tasks, they can be a frustrating exercise and remain merely good intentions.

Wide/broad goals need to be (1) subdivided into specifics, (2) then quantified and (3) then be incorporated into a timetable.

For improving our knowledge of current affairs, for example, the sub-goal could be to read (on- or off-line) authoritative, quality newspapers, blogs, and magazines.

Then quantify by choosing a specific number you will read, and which ones.

Finally timetable this by establishing the time of day, week, or month that we will do this plus the amount of time we will devote to this activity.

We need to periodically remind ourselves that taking a systematic and specific-actions approach to our broad goals will result in less frustration and more actual achievement in our self-improvement efforts.

Our overarching goal is to better ourselves; but this can’t happen without an action plan.

Personal growth: Being mindful of the words we choose June 18, 2014

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Concept of personal growth.
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If our self-improvement program includes developing the qualities of tolerance, generosity, and acceptance, then we need to remind ourselves to be careful in the words we use to describe the character and actions of others.

Constructive criticism or thoughtful analysis can help the recipient of our words, but if our words are chosen poorly, the resulting message can be harsh and hurtful; thereby destroying the intended purpose of our communications.

This thought is not new; but it might be useful for us to reflect on how often we may rush to judgement or unthinkingly lash out verbally with “clever” words and end up damaging the very people we are trying to help.

There’s and old maxim which says that words can wound more deeply than a knife.

And, once the words are out there, they cannot be taken back.

Here’s some insight on this thought from the ancient Chinese Book of Songs:

“Defects in a white jade scepter
can still be polished away,
but for the defects in your words,
there’s nothing to be done.” (1)

(1) The Chinese Book of Songs, # 256, referenced in a footnote in David Hinton’s book, The Four Chinese Classics