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Personal growth: One possible path to a life with less fear and worry October 11, 2018

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Overcoming Fear.
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None of us is entitled, nor likely expects, to enjoy a life free of problems and major challenges, but it would be a relief and make us more effective if, while experiencing the normal difficulties of existence, we could be largely free of worry and anxiety.

Some problems in life are so life-altering or threatening that we cannot escape a significant emotional impact, such as the death of a loved one, a catastrophic illness, a sudden physical disability, or possible financial ruin.

But for many of our problems, even major ones, it may be possible  to replace worry, fear, and anxiety with their less crippling emotional cousin, namely, the emotional and intellectual quality of “concern.”

An endless cycle of worrying, visiting “our problem” again and again, playing an eternal loop of regret of the past and/or foreboding about the future is destructive and counter-productive.

Conversely, concern about a problem implies a moderated approach coupled with the important ingredient of action, of goal-directed activity.

In  fact it is the quality of action that helps turn worry into concern, because it is the beginning of finding a solution to our problems.

Not suggesting anything here that we don’t already know, if only intuitively.

But we do need to constantly remind ourselves that worry in itself does not move us forward, rather it paralyzes us, eventually making us go backwards.

I’m still learning on this particular internal journey.

Dennis Mellersh

Personal growth: Jumping off the cliff of self-actualization October 5, 2017

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Overcoming Fear.
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In discussing the many challenges in creative writing, Ray Bradbury gave some excellent advice which applies to the large-scale project of living life itself creatively and the more focussed innovative efforts we try to make in our self-development work.

Namely, that in all matters requiring creativity, we need to put aside our fears, jump off the cliff, and then build our wings on the way down.

We can gradually master the skills required in whatever project we are working on and can be assured of varying levels of success in learning those skills.

But in making the big leap into an entire philosophy of self-improvement, while realizing that it might not work takes a lot of courage.

And if we think about it too much, we will probably not be willing to gamble on making the required investment in time, commitment and effort.

But, for sure, if we don’t jump, we  won’t be making our wings, or soaring creatively.

— Dennis Mellersh