Targeting our generosity towards receptive people May 20, 2014
Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Concept of personal development.Tags: Chuang Tzu, developing empathy, personal development potential, personal growth, philosophy, self-actualization, self-improvement, spirit of generosity
add a comment
Cultivating a spirit of generosity and empathy within ourselves can be a rewarding component of our personal growth and development program; but it does little concrete good if the recipients of our generosity and empathy do not value what we are offering.
It may make us feel good inside to be generous regardless of whether or not those who receive our generosity value it, but it is surely more productive and more of a win-win outcome if those who we are trying to help make an effort to utilize our assistance.
It’s like the biblical story of sowing or planting grain. If the seeds are placed in fertile soil, they thrive and grow. If they land in barren soil, they wither and die.
The ancient Chinese philosopher Chuang Tzu tells the story of someone in the Chinese sector of Sung making interesting hats that they thought they would sell in Yueh. But because of the local customs of dress in that area, the people had no use for the hats. (1)
Chuang Tzu also relates a situation where someone planted a tree beside a lonely road, whereas the tree would have been better planted in a village, where it could have served a variety of productive purposes for the local population. (2)
Similarly, if we try to improve the condition of people who do not want our help; if we “try to plant seeds in barren ground”, there is not much likelihood of success.
You are working seriously in trying to pursue a path of self-actualization, self-development and personal growth, in part so you can reach your potential, be a better person and become more helpful to those in your circle of influence.
Don’t make it harder on yourself by trying to break through someone’s resistance to what you are offering. Focus instead on those who welcome your generosity.
You could be offering your time, your advice, your insights, your talents. Place these where they will be appreciated and productive.
Try to please everybody – no one is pleased.
(1) and (2) Both story synopses are paraphrased from a translation of Chuang Tzu, by David Hinton in his book, The Four Chinese Classics
On being generous with our encouragement and praise May 17, 2014
Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Concept of personal growth, Self-Esteem.Tags: Confucius, encouragement, generosity, personal development, personal development potential, personal growth, philosophy, praise
add a comment
One of the concepts that we learn in our work on our personal growth is the principle of creating improvement in our empathy and in our spiritual side by being generous to others with our time and talents.
To this we could add being generous with our recognition of others and with our praise of others.
And, our encouragement should not only be given when someone’s project is not going well, or during a tough period in their life; but also for recognizing their successful achievements and efforts.
All of us all appreciate receiving praise and encouragement when we have done something well.
Generosity towards others with sincere recognition and praise is a mark of strong self-esteem and self-confidence.
Withholding it speaks to insecurity, and small-mindedness.
The ancient Chinese philosopher Confucius spoke of encouragement of the good:
“The noble-minded encourage what is beautiful in people and discourage what is ugly in them. Little people do just the opposite.” (1)
(1) Confucius, The Analects, as translated by David Hinton in his book, The Four Chinese Classics
Personal Development Ideas 