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Using the values sieve for personal growth and development March 30, 2015

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Concept of personal development.
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By Dennis Mellersh

One of the problems many people face when first tackling a largely self-directed program of personal growth is that of being overwhelmed by the sheer scope of what they think may need to be done.

It can all seem to be “too much” to take on if we assume that our entire personality, behavioural characteristics, and general life habits need to be thrown out the window and replaced with the many elements, and/or key principles  of one or more  programs of  self-improvement.

The difficulty results from having an “all or nothing” approach; from thinking that everything we are doing, or not doing, needs to be changed, modified, or improved.

Maybe it does, but not likely.

A better approach is to realize that you can make choices and that you are probably in better mental and emotional shape than you may realize; otherwise you would not perceive the need for making any changes at all in your life.

You already have the self-knowledge and personal values to take a selective approach to decide what you need to do now, what can wait, and what does not need to be done.

It’s like using a sieve, which can be mechanically defined as a utensil for sorting out a mixture of larger particles from finer or smaller particles. Or in archeology, where a large sieve is often used to separate the valuable artifacts from the debris, gravel, and earth on an archeological site.

Similarly, in the case of personal growth prioritizing, you can use an intellectual sieve, based on your self-knowledge, and emotional and intellectual intelligence to separate immediate, short-term, and long terms goals for your personal improvement efforts.

And, to separate what you need to work on from what you don’t need to work on.

Setting realistic expectations for personal growth May 12, 2014

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Concept of personal growth, Goal Setting and Realization.
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One of the troubling and irritating tendencies we see with some personal growth writers and self-improvement philosophers is the idea that the only restrictions on our personal development potential are the limits that we impose on ourselves.

This theory is fine as long as it is meant to encourage us to set ambitious goals, to seek ideals, to do everything in our power to maximize our improvement efforts.

But the idea that there are absolutely no limits is flawed.

To tell people that anything is possible as long we set our hearts on it, work hard, and have faith, is to essentially be promoting an alternate universe of non-reality.

If taken to heart the “no limits” theory could damage our self-esteem and jeopardize our entire personal growth program.

We can have strong self-esteem and confidence in our ability to overcome obstacles, but if our goals are not realistic we are opening ourselves up to discouragement and eventual failure with our program.

Realistic goals + hard work = success and encouragement to do more

Unrealistic goals + hard work = failure and discouragement of further effort

The take-away

It’s not always that something is absolutely impossible.

It’s just that it might not be possible for us in our particular circumstances.

To be able to recognize the difference is an important part of progress in our personal growth efforts.