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Personal growth: Having faith in our innate abilities May 9, 2014

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Concept of personal development, Self-Esteem.
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One of the key outcomes we seek in a program of personal growth and development is that of acquiring the ability to have faith in our own capabilities and potential.

In terms of self-awareness and self-knowledge, we want to achieve greater self-confidence, and greater self-assurance regarding the creativity, originality, and validity of our own individual thought process.

And, as a large component of our work on developing this confidence, we turn to the experts on personal growth.

What do they have to say about how we should move forward?

We can, however, become over-reliant on the experts to the point where we begin to doubt our own abilities to make decisions about the strategic path we need to take in constructing a self-improvement program tailored to our individual circumstances and needs.

There is reluctance to believe we can absorb the advice of the experts, and yet have the confidence to design a self-directed growth program based on selecting the appropriate (to our personality) component elements suggested by those experts.

And so, because of these inner doubts we may choose to follow a particular program in its entirety without making the necessary adjustments our specific situation may require.

Combatting this reluctance to trust ourselves will take some serious work, because it is rooted in our inborn sense of insecurity.

Eric Hoffer has commented on this conundrum:

“We have more faith in what we imitate than in what we originate. We cannot derive a sense of absolute certitude from anything which has its roots in us. The most poignant sense of insecurity comes from standing alone; we are not alone when we imitate.” (1)

(1) Eric Hoffer, The Passionate State of Mind

Are you incorrectly assuming you have a lack of self-confidence? May 9, 2012

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Self-Esteem.
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Whether we identify our personal growth program by the name of self-improvement or personal development, there are times when each of us can suffer from occasional or long-terms bouts of a perceived lack of self-confidence.

However, I have found in my own efforts towards increasing my personal growth potential that what I might have considered a lack of self-confidence in myself is sometimes actually a lack of confidence in others, or a lack of confidence in systems, such as the workings or market variables of a workplace or a business I am trying to succeed in.

Other people for example, may not understand what we are trying to accomplish or they do not appreciate the approach we are taking. If this is causing you worry, it is not your self-confidence that is lacking; it is a lack of confidence in factors outside of yourself and perhaps beyond your control.

As such, this is not a matter of a lack of self-confidence, but rather a lack of confidence in external conditions and/or circumstances. So, we do not need to manage our ego to compensate, but instead look to the conditions that are causing us concern and work on possible solutions. This is not arrogance, unwarranted optimism, or having an overblown ego; it just means that we have a healthy respect for our own capabilities.

Additionally, most of us have varying degrees of confidence or self-confidence in our various personal aptitudes and skills. Few of us are excellent at doing everything.  Recognizing our strengths and weaknesses and seeking ways to strengthen our weaker areas is a sign of maturity.