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Personal growth: Avoiding the trap of psychological time May 14, 2017

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Concept of personal growth, Living in the Now.
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By Dennis Mellersh

It is almost impossible for us to be happy in our current life if we remain anchored to the counterproductive habit of focusing on “psychological time” according to Eckhart Tolle.

Psychological time as Tolle describes it is an artificial intellectual construct in which we use our present moment, or the Now, to focus on the past, which we can no longer physically access, and the future, which is also impossible to physically experience.

The past is totally inaccessible, even though its influence exists in the present, and the future can only be influenced by what we do right now in the present moment.

The past inevitably contains some actual disappointments and the future might be full of potential disappointments; both time periods feature many “what-if” questions.

Tolle suggests that we can ask ourselves a simple question to see if we are being “taken over” by psychological time and dwelling on the past and the future, instead of fully experiencing the present moment:

“Is there joy, ease, and lightness in what I am doing? If there isn’t, then time [the past and the future] is covering up the present moment, and life is perceived as a burden or a struggle,” Tolle suggests.

With the present moment darkened both by past disappointments and regrets, and also by thoughts of potential future negative events it is not surprising there is little joy in the present.

Tolle believes that “When you act out of present-moment awareness, whatever you do becomes imbued with a sense of quality, care, and love – even the most simple action. (1)

In contrast with psychological time, when you are fully involved in the present, in the Now, perhaps working on finishing a project that fully absorbs your attention right now, you are in “clock time” according to Tolle.

(1) Eckhart Tolle, Practicing The Power of Now, New World Library, Novato, California, 1999, 142 pages

Personal growth: Three months to live; now what? May 11, 2017

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Concept of personal growth.
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“I was blessed. I was told I had three months to live.”

These remarkable words come from Eugene O’Kelly, in his memoir. (1)

In this compelling book, O’Kelly describes his overall response to a medical diagnosis he received at age 53, of having three months, and perhaps less, to live, due to inoperable brain cancer.

Instead of being overcome with panic, anxiety, and self-pity, O’Kelly, then CEO of one of the largest U.S accounting firms, set about trying to answer two significant questions:

(1) Must the end of life be the worst part?

(2) Can it be made a constructive experience — even the best part of life?

Generally, he decided to use the skills he had developed in his professional life and apply them “to my final task.”

Additionally, however, through this difficult journey, he developed new ways of thinking and a new awareness that he says he “didn’t possess in the first 53 years of my life.”

The journey started with O’Kelly sitting across from a doctor, whose “…eyes told me I would die soon. It was late spring. I had seen my last autumn in New York.”

Nevertheless, O’Kelly says, “My experience and outlook gave me the potential to manage my endgame better than most, and I considered that opportunity a gift.”

Early on in the book O’Kelly suggests that for anyone considering “taking the time someday to plan their final weeks and months; three words of advice: move it up.”

O’Kelly says that in his profession he had focussed on “building and planning for the future. Now I would have to learn the true value of the present.” He says the biggest lesson he learned was the importance of acceptance.

His to-do list for his final days included several philosophical approaches:

* Simplify

* Live in the moment

* Create (but also be open to) great moments, “perfect moments”

* Begin transition to next state

Enjoying the experience of NOW became important:

“No more living in the future (or the past for that matter…) I needed to stop living two months, a week, even a few hours ahead…”

He says that he believed by changing his focus he could make a switch “that would help compensate for me what I’d lost in longevity with depth, quality, and intensity

“If I were in the present moment, I would be aware only of the experience I was having, not of how this might be the last time I would experience this, ever…I tried to be really conscious of what was around me, really conscious, exclusively conscious.”

“I failed”

If I write much more, about O’Kelly’s ultimate journey I will be spoiling the book for those who might want to read this story of courage and  life-potential for themselves.

All told, this is an inspiring book from a rather unique person.

(1) Eugene O’Kelly, Chasing Daylight: How My Forthcoming Death Transformed My Life, A final Account, McGraw-Hill, New York, 2006, 179 pages.

— Dennis Mellersh