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Dealing with fears created by past problems April 22, 2014

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Overcoming Fear, Solving Problems.
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From ancient times to today, teachers of personal development techniques have advised us to avoid dwelling on the past.

Instead, they urge us to concentrate our thinking on the present, particularly the present moment (the Now) and perhaps the future.

Confucius, for example, in one of his discussions, commented:

“Never speak of what has already happened. Never criticize what has already run its course. Never condemn what is already done and gone.” (1)

Good advice; but what about an event, or series of events in the past, which is impacting on our lives in the present moment, particularly if this past circumstance is causing us a lot of emotional torment and fear?

The first thing we should do is to decide:

(a) Is the past-created present problem something on which I can take corrective action? or;
(b) Are the present manifestations resulting from the past situation totally un-fixable?

Because the present effects of the past situation are resulting in our being fearful and stressed, we may procrastinate taking needed action. Our constant re-creation of the past in our minds is resulting in mental paralysis.

In this case, one strategy recommended by experts today is to take a one-bite-at-a-time approach to corrective measures. The act of doing something, even if in small steps, can go a long way to helping relieve our mental distress.

If the current situation is absolutely not correctable, then we need to put effort into our personal growth goal of developing the quality of acceptance in our emotional and mental outlook.

(1) As translated/interpreted by David Hinton in his book, The Four Chinese Classics

Personal development: Trusting our natural abilities April 21, 2014

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Concept of personal development, Concept of personal growth.
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The concept of personal growth does not necessarily mean that we have to improve virtually every area of our lives and personalities.

Each of us unique talents and abilities, and these strengths may be solid enough, without significant improvement, to serve as a strong foundation for our overall program.

A few examples of innate strengths

  • We may have a strong sense of compassion, a quality which can help us in our efforts to build better relationships
  • Our self-knowledge may already be well developed, and we can use this attribute to help us make decisions on which of our personality characteristics may need more work
  • If we have good self-esteem we have an effective tool to help us avoid discouragement with the inevitable slow spots or bumps in our self-improvement efforts
  • If we are analytical and logical in our approach to problems, we can use this characteristic in the difficult challenge of learning to manage our emotions
  • If we have a strong sense of purpose, we can use that skill to better identify goals and be consistent in our pursuit of achieving them

To move forward with energy in our self-actualization efforts, we should trust in these collective capabilities because, combined with a positive mental outlook, they can help us achieve success.

Don Juan Matus, in one of his “conversations” with Carlos Castaneda commented, “Trust your personal power. That’s all one has in this whole mysterious world.”

Then speaking of the warrior class, he added, “A warrior is impeccable when he trusts his personal power regardless of whether it is small or enormous.” (1)

(1) Journey to Ixtlan: The Lessons of Don Juan, Carlos Castaneda,  Washington Square Press, Pocket Books, New York, 1974, pp. 167-168