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Dealing with fears created by past problems April 22, 2014

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Overcoming Fear, Solving Problems.
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From ancient times to today, teachers of personal development techniques have advised us to avoid dwelling on the past.

Instead, they urge us to concentrate our thinking on the present, particularly the present moment (the Now) and perhaps the future.

Confucius, for example, in one of his discussions, commented:

“Never speak of what has already happened. Never criticize what has already run its course. Never condemn what is already done and gone.” (1)

Good advice; but what about an event, or series of events in the past, which is impacting on our lives in the present moment, particularly if this past circumstance is causing us a lot of emotional torment and fear?

The first thing we should do is to decide:

(a) Is the past-created present problem something on which I can take corrective action? or;
(b) Are the present manifestations resulting from the past situation totally un-fixable?

Because the present effects of the past situation are resulting in our being fearful and stressed, we may procrastinate taking needed action. Our constant re-creation of the past in our minds is resulting in mental paralysis.

In this case, one strategy recommended by experts today is to take a one-bite-at-a-time approach to corrective measures. The act of doing something, even if in small steps, can go a long way to helping relieve our mental distress.

If the current situation is absolutely not correctable, then we need to put effort into our personal growth goal of developing the quality of acceptance in our emotional and mental outlook.

(1) As translated/interpreted by David Hinton in his book, The Four Chinese Classics

Goals and personal growth: “Getting it done.” October 14, 2012

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Goal Setting and Realization.
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One of the characteristics we may tend to develop in pursuing a program of personal growth, or self-improvement, is that we sometimes can become overly analytical about our short, medium, and long term goals.

This can result in too much time spent in preparation for a goal and too little time in doing what is required to realize the goal.

We focus too much on the ultimate results we want concerning our goal, but don’t pay enough attention to executing the “do” things that will get us there.

Too much planning, at times, can result in too little accomplished.

MLB baseball manager Joe Girardi, in talking about challenges facing his team in the playoffs in 2012 said the same principles of achievement apply in baseball as they do  in life. “I’m talking about everyone that goes through struggles in life or goes through pain in life,” Girardi said.

“We just have to find a way to get it done.”

“You have to make adjustments.”