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Setting realistic expectations for personal growth May 12, 2014

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Concept of personal growth, Goal Setting and Realization.
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One of the troubling and irritating tendencies we see with some personal growth writers and self-improvement philosophers is the idea that the only restrictions on our personal development potential are the limits that we impose on ourselves.

This theory is fine as long as it is meant to encourage us to set ambitious goals, to seek ideals, to do everything in our power to maximize our improvement efforts.

But the idea that there are absolutely no limits is flawed.

To tell people that anything is possible as long we set our hearts on it, work hard, and have faith, is to essentially be promoting an alternate universe of non-reality.

If taken to heart the “no limits” theory could damage our self-esteem and jeopardize our entire personal growth program.

We can have strong self-esteem and confidence in our ability to overcome obstacles, but if our goals are not realistic we are opening ourselves up to discouragement and eventual failure with our program.

Realistic goals + hard work = success and encouragement to do more

Unrealistic goals + hard work = failure and discouragement of further effort

The take-away

It’s not always that something is absolutely impossible.

It’s just that it might not be possible for us in our particular circumstances.

To be able to recognize the difference is an important part of progress in our personal growth efforts.

Personal growth: Developing the spirit of generosity May 11, 2014

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Concept of personal development, Tao Te Ching.
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One of the precepts that we soon come across in a serious study of personal growth and development is what we might call an attitudinal + action version of the Law of Reciprocation.

In the case of bringing the concept of generosity into our self-improvement program, the law is straightforward: give and you will receive.

As we increase our self-awareness, and our knowledge of the principles of personal growth as it applies to our attitudes, emotions, and behaviour patterns, we discover how generosity can benefit us in many ways; in addition to helping the recipients of our generosity.

Although the true spirit of generosity requires that our actions be done without expectation of reward, nevertheless we gain as much, and possibly more, than those we are generous towards.

We can be generous with our time, our resources, our knowledge and skills, our understanding, our acceptance, and more.

The ancient Chinese wisdom writer Lao Tzu stated the concept concisely in this excerpt from chapter 81 of the Tao Te Ching:

A sage never hoards:
the more you do for others,
the more plenty is yours,
and the more you give to others,
the more abundance is yours. (1)

(1) Lao Tzu, the Tao Te Ching, as translated by David Hinton in his book, The Four Chinese Classics