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Solving problems: Thought, circumstances, reality April 14, 2014

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Fear and Anxiety, Solving Problems.
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When we work on our programs of self-improvement, one of the biggest obstacles to success can be how we think about the problems that we all inevitably face as part of living.

The thought process that we bring to bear on our problems, or significant challenges, can often turn (in our minds) a correctable circumstance(s), into a seemingly unsolvable difficulty.

The real problem we have may be an inability to distinguish between a persistent negative thought and the actual circumstances prompting that thought pattern in our minds.

Following is a hypothetical example

The cascading negative financial thought:

  • I don’t have enough money in the bank; I don’t have a job; I am doomed to a life of financial disaster and poverty

The actual financial circumstances:

  • I have three months living expenses in the bank

The reality financial positives or potential as opposed to the negative financial thought:

  • I can budget and stretch out my savings
  • Three months savings can therefore be a workable financial cushion
  • I want to work and I have marketable skill sets
  • With some effort I can get a temporary or part-time job
  • I can then work towards getting a full-time job
  • Or I can start a part-time home business to generate income

The point is that there can be many additional positives in this situation, but we have to learn to distinguish between our negative thinking on “our problem” and the true circumstances; and recognize the reality positives and potential

Thanks to Dr. Richard Carlson, author of You Can Be Happy No Matter What, for the basic concept I have expanded on in this post.

Carlson’s book provides a method for altering our thought process so we are better able to make the distinction between our thoughts about a personal problem and the actual circumstances pertaining to the problem; and thereby take a proactive, unemotional approach towards a solution.

Dr. Carlson also points out that our “low” moods, which are usually fleeting, can have a large impact on the generation of negative thinking. He provides ideas for combatting this tendency.

Personal growth and day-tight compartments April 3, 2014

Posted by Dennis Mellersh in Living in the Now.
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One of the challenges we face after starting a program of personal development is that the increased self-awareness we inevitably create can sometimes lead to discouragement at our perceived lack of quick progress.

When this happens, it can be helpful to try to follow the example of professional athletes who, although facing setbacks and potential failures very day, nevertheless persevere in their efforts to maximize their talents.

If you listen to interviews with professional athletes, their approach to their work usually follows a pattern:

Preparation: They continually prepare for improved performance each day

Focus on today: They try to live in day-tight compartments. Failure yesterday does not mean failure today; rather, today is a new opportunity to do better

Stressing routines: They keep doing the routines that have worked for them in the past and modify them if necessary to achieve better results

Concentration: They focus on the task at hand instead of fretting about missed o0pportunities yesterday, or worrying how they are going to meet challenges tomorrow

Control what can be controlled: They make an effort to concentrate on the elements of their lives that are within their control and try to not worry about the elements that they can’t control